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| Hey everybody!
QUESTION: why is it that the day you have nothing to do, ends up going by much quicker than the days where you have sooo much to do, and so little time to do it? followed by the ever wanting for the day to be over?
Answer... Hell, I don;t know!
What I do know is this... I have done absolutely nothing today and it has been so refreshing. You ever have those weeks when you work in a thankless job, you feel like you have no friends, no one understands you, and... you're just generally unsightly to be around? well that's me. Drama queen> and proud of it.
But today... today was different. I got to get in touch with myself... in many ways;) anyway. I did get to clean the apartment and watch a couple of movies... but basically take care of myself. This have been an off and fabulous day. Not many days like this come by me. I wonder... why is that? Is what I thought about my life a lie? Was my happiness just a lie to myself or perhaps have I just been ground down to a halt?
It has been a day of thinking about relationships and wondering if the people I care about really care about me in return,or just a relationship of convience...
I have been thinking that a lot of my friends that I have made up here have taken more interest in me than the people that I have left behind... its like i have been transformed or molded by my society.
Believe it or not... i am far more butch than I have ever been, far more contemplative, and I think I am becoming bored. Lack of that "Hag" or that homosexual influence has changed me into a workaholic, father of 3, bridegroom to some crazy bitch called Cleveland. oh well... just some shit I've been thinking about...
hope you're ALL doing well.
Love,
Scott | | |
| Needing advise on guys right here.
Ok. so, I know this sounds stupid, but I have a thang for this guy i met.... in a bar of all places, but it isn't all rainbows and sunshine... i think i may need to work into this one.
Here's the backstory...
After my debut performance on stage with the Cleveland Opera Company, I was invited to hang out with the " gays" of the opera chorus... you know which ones I'm talking about. The ones who are flaming and so much fun to be with. Met this bartender... who turns out to be the owner, and flirted it up ( flouted? past tense of flirt? maybe... I dunno). Returned later and had the pleasure of enjoying his company... there is a cycle here. Let's just say... I've been there A LOT! Not only is it the coolest bar in town with the best drinks in town, but he's there too... BONUS!
Problem...
the guy is kinda hard to talk to at times, eg he doesn't talk often of himself, however when he does... it's definately a whole other story... He's fun, charming, and always a pleasure to be around. And cute... which is a plus.
Question...
How do i get this guy to open up and have a discussion?
sincerely,
speechless in cleveland | | |
| So this weekend, I had the awesome ability to be in the 3 places I love. Cleveland, Columbus, and believe it or not...Marion.
Went to my gurl, Nora's recital... which she did an amazing job on. Realized just how much I love that girl. Nothing makes me happier than to see her doing the thing she loves doing. and boy can she do it well. I was amazed at her stage presence, and rarely a moment went by when i wasn;t staring at her. It sounds like im in love... maybe I am. Afterall, she is my bestfriend;)
My second stop, was to Marion. I finally got to hang with the folks again. Saw my neph... cuter than ever... and almost 2 years old. He can finally say my name, and isn;t afraid of me anymore. Saw my sister,the skinny bitch. ok... im a little jealous, but i still love her! AND I GOT A GREAT NIGHT'S SLEEP!.
the return trip brought me back home. Cleveland finally feels like home. A cool place where a hip guy, such as myself, can relax and let his hair down.
Now... I'm working on a few lines for tomorrow night's performance. Hope you're all doing well... love ya! | | |
| Ok. Here's my story.
So I came to the realization that I haven;t written in this bitch since January. Damn. Some crazy shit up in here.
My day. I got up out my bed and got ready for work. Got there... realized why the called it work. DAMN!
Got home early and joined my roomies Mary Kay Extravaganza! And let me tell you! It was the most fun I have had in a Looong time. Bought some stuff, experimented with base. and children, let me tell you. My hands have never felt this soft in a while. feels like everytime i do something, my hands are attached to a baby's bottom... well, not in a perv way... they're just soft. Y'all are a bunch of sick freaks. I know what you were thinking.
And it looks like today, I have the last piano rehearsal for the orchestra season and all that junk. Just looks like a lot of fun... i might chug some booze before hand;)
My gosh so much has happened to me in the last few months... like thinking it's May already and I can;t believe I have been in " the land of cleve" for nearly 8 months. freakin wierd! oh well. I have a lot of stories and a lot of drama. but if you wanna know, all you got to do is ask;) Love you all!
" if you put 'scott rocks' in you mouth with soda, will you explode?" | | |
| - 10. Obsession OK, so I don't have too much to write other than... Cleveland completely blows ass! Ok. I am stuck inside on a Friday evening... and i think to myself when the hell did this start happening????
And I come to the realization that it isn't because I don;t have the money to go out... it isn't because there's nothing to do up here. It IS however, the shocking fact that I have no one to go out with anymore. Back at school... always people around, always fun... and now that i am out of my element and finally realizing this, I am completely stumped as to how I made this stupid mistake. How did I decide to follow my career rather than seek satisfaction where I was comfortable and happy. I had this discussion with Nora, and my new gurl Weezy, and they came to the same conclusion as to how brave I was to take on such a difficult undertaking. Yeah, congrats to me...
Only, I know that is not worth it at all. Leaving all of your behind was one of the biggest mistakes, and knowing that I have not been in close contact with you has made me feel like a HUGE jerk. I hope you can forgive me, somehow.
It's because Im gay isn;t it? ISN'T IT? I HATE YOU WHORES:) Gotta have a smile at the end of something so sad.
I'm still here:) | | |
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